Hi and welcome to Slap O' Sense!

Life goes on. With or without my approval or cooperation; life does go on.
If being a lifelong San Diego Chargers and Padres fan has taught me anything, there IS always next year.
But I think I my skill for heavy sighing is at an Olympic level.
My heart has been broken so many times; I should have a Band-Aid tattooed on my chest. Or maybe a giant arrow with the following directions: If your team lost again, then stomp here.
Sigh.
The San Diego Chargers started in Los Angeles in the American Football League in 1960. They moved to San Diego in 1961 and I arrived shortly thereafter.
Kind of a Zen-cosmic connection, don’t you think?
The San Diego Padres arrived in 1969 and Mr. Ray Kroc saved the franchise in 1974 thereby doubling my pain and misery.
You see, I have no choice. My home town is San Diego and no matter how long I’ve lived in Oregon (ten years,) San Diego will always be home.
Just because the Chargers have been eliminated from the playoffs doesn’t mean I’m going to switch allegiances. What, you expect me to cheer for the Patriots, Colts, Bears or Saints?
Right.
The Chargers had another infamous period in the team history that revolved around the selection and signing of Ryan Leaf as quarterback.
Ryan Leaf was, how should I put this: special. So special, that my best friend Nancy, who is also a lifelong Chargers and Padres fan, and I offered our services to the team.
Nancy has been an elementary school teacher in the San Diego Unified School District for lo, these many years. She teaches fourth grade. I have been a mother for almost 16 years and am currently living with. and not killing at all, two teenagers. Between the two of us, we don’t tolerate a great deal.
So when Ryan Leaf chose to express himself in, what we believed to be, unacceptable terms, we thoughtfully and without any consideration for our own personal glory, mind you, offered to “counsel” Mr. Leaf.
We figured that in our shared effort, it would take about a week or so to “educate” the Chargers quarterback in the proper way of behaving. Nancy preferred the use of a cattle prod while I leaned more heavily toward the Indiana Jones-type of bullwhip. My thinking was that I would also get to wear that cool hat.
Believe it or not, the San Diego Chargers organization did not respond to our kind and generous offer. Incredible though it may be, apparently there are all kinds of pesky laws and legal liability issues involved.
This year, there is more than one player who prevented Nancy and me from enjoying watching our beloved Chargers in the Super Bowl. Far be it from me to name names but know that LaDainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers are not two of them. I understand the correct football terminology would be, “Duh!” But there are others. Many, many others. And they know who they are. Obviously, the cost of multiple cattle prods and/or Indiana Jones-type bullwhips would be prohibitive; therefore I have come up with an alternate solution for this year’s players in need of gentle correction.
Once you hear of my idea, if you have any venture capital lying around the house, you will not be able to restrain yourself from flinging it in my general direction. I may set up a PayPal account just for this purpose alone.
I call it The Slap O’ Sense. I have even set up my very own blog so that you may add your own suggestions of those who deserve and/or need The Slap O’ Sense.
Think about it. Politicians, world leaders, public figures of any ilk and sort, celebrities, football players, idiots who are incapable of using the self-check yet insist on attempting to do so in front of you, religious icons, talk-show hosts, annoying drivers of automobiles who refuse to use their turn signals correctly would all be eligible for The Slap O’ Sense. Imagine how much better the world, in general, and your own life, in particular, would be if you could respond to irritations, large and small, with the Slap O’ Sense. It wouldn’t leave scars like cattle prods and bullwhips, it’s quick and easy to use, and oh, how much better everyone would feel afterwards. You would be able to express yourself succinctly and distinctly, the individual or group would receive much needed correction and we could all sit down for a hot chocolate-chip cookie afterwards.
You can go here to www.slaposense.com and let your voice be heard. Just a word of advice: don’t pound the keyboard too hard. If you’re anything like me, you’ll need to conserve your strength to type your entire list.